How To Tell If Therapy Is Right For You
Have you ever asked yourself are your problems significant enough to talk to a therapist? Have you wondered if you will be wasting the therapist’s time?
We all may have asked questions like these at one point or another as we work up the nerve to make that first call. In reality, all that seeking therapy means is something in your life is not working the way you want. It doesn’t mean there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or that you are broken. There are many reasons why you might benefit from a little extra help every now and then.
The American Psychological Association suggests that one should consider therapy if you are experiencing distress in ways that interfere with your life, such as in relationships and occupational functioning.
This might look like:
A change in your mood
Inconsistent sleeping patterns
Avoidance of situations or people
Decreased motivation and decreased interest
Trouble showering, brushing your teeth, or cleaning
Anxious or intrusive thoughts
Feeling on edge or restless
Fatigue or feeling foggy
Who Should Go To Therapy?
The manual which therapists use to diagnose mental health disorders, the DSM-5, says that a person will meet the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder if their symptoms persist for at least two weeks. Similarly, with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, a person is considered to have met the criteria if signs and symptoms have been present for six months or more.
However, many people can be candidates for therapy even without a clinical mental health diagnosis. Working with a therapist or counselor can help you make better sense of the distress you might be experiencing, and they can support you in finding ways to cope with difficult life situations. Not everyone is trained to listen with empathy, understanding, and validation. This kind of skillful listening from a mental health provider can really help with feeling more contentment and being more present in life.
What is Psychological Distress?
But what does it mean to experience “distress,” and how can you tell if it is problematic? Life is difficult for everyone at times, and there will always be ups and downs we will need to cope with in a way that serves us and our relationships. We are social beings, wired for connection. We are presented a lifetime of opportunity to cultivate fulfilling relationships and add to our overall sense of well-being. Maintaining healthy relationships can be difficult when our mental health is suffering.
Psychological distress refers to a state of emotional suffering in which stress and the demands of life are difficult to manage. Physical manifestations of stress also commonly occur with psychological distress. And amongst health communities around the world, chronic stress has been found to be correlated with anxiety, depression, and burnout.
In studies where psychological distress was a focus of attention, researchers found that attitudes about one’s ability to cope were compromised in those experiencing chronic emotional suffering. Patients were described to 1) be pessimistic about the future, 2) have anguish over stress, 3) display self-depreciation, 4) experience high levels of isolation and social withdrawal, and 5) report somatization of symptoms.
Understandably, these qualities could easily make a person feel stuck. The best way to help with getting unstuck is to fully accept what is (acceptance does not mean you approve of it, but rather that you are acknowledging the reality of your present circumstances). When we can sit with all the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs about our suffering without trying to change or avoid them, we can have a more clear mind on our next steps. Acceptance is a choice, and it is a powerful way to be active in your struggle rather than being bullied by it.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them” - Dr. Maya Angelou
Making The Choice To Go To Therapy
Working with a therapist can help with moving forward toward living a life worth living. Therapy can improve your overall health, help you have more fulfilling relationships, and help you develop more insight and awareness into yourself.
People enter therapy for different reasons, but one thing is true across the board: choosing to participate in the process of change is courageous and is an investment in yourself. When you begin working with a therapist or counselor, some things you may want to look for are:
Feeling a sense of safety
Feeling a sense of connection
Feeling that they are knowledgeable and competent
A sense of safety means you should feel like you can be open and honest with your therapist, to express whatever you are thinking and feeling without feeling judged. Therapy can go as deep as you would like it to, but sometimes sharing things we have not shared with many others can make us feel vulnerable and scared. A skilled therapist will meet you where you are at, move at your pace, and inform you of what to expect in the therapy process.
You want to feel that your therapist connects with you—that what you say resonates with them and they are your ally. There should be an easy flow in conversations, especially as you move forward in your work together. Sometimes, bringing up content that is difficult to talk about can make you feel worse after therapy. Feeling this way is common, but you’ll want to share this with our therapist so they can adjust the process in ways that might be more supportive for you.
Having a knowledgeable and skilled therapist helps foster trust and safety in the therapeutic process. Therapy can be slow-moving at times. If you think about how long it took for you to get stuck, expect it will take some time to work through. That said, a therapist with expertise in their craft will help you more readily move through the stages of change with ease and compassion.
Support Can Help
It is helpful to have someone on your side when going through trying times. Therapy can be a place where you can share in confidence and talk about the challenges you’re having in your life and the ways you feel about dealing with them. Therapists know you're doing the best you can, and your emotions are likely normal and appropriate responses to life’s difficulties. Managing these challenges isn’t expected to come naturally as there is no manual for life. However, if your daily struggles interfere with your life and relationships with others, you might need some extra support.
Connect with me today to learn more about how I can support you through the challenges present in your life.